Wisdom to achieve

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Egypt

In the last few weeks change has swept a part of the world where change did not seem possible. First Tunisia, a small country on the North African Coast. Regime change came fast, much faster than any thought possible, faster than any invading army could do.  In Tunisia a dictator once the ''good friend'' of many governments in the West, ''notre ami Ben Ali'' as he was described by the French government, became a tyrant the day those governments who had found him useful, no longer thought he could be of any possible use. So many despots in Asia, in Latin America, in the Middle-East and Africa have known the same fate, a friend one day and a useless tyrant the next. As long as they did what they were told and protected trade, all was well. Saddam Hussein was once a good friend, the ally against Iran, until that fateful day in 1990 when he invaded Kuwait.

Egypt is now in turmoil, though being the biggest, oldest, most populous of all Arab countries, not being really Arab since the Egyptians think of themselves as a distinct people, with a national history going back to the beginning of Civilization, once a great Empire, Egypt is a very different story.  Their President has been part of the national scene since the fall of the Monarchy in 1952.  As a young man in the army, he attached himself to people like Sadat and Nasser. He was there when Nasser died of a heart attack and Sadat succeeded him. Again he was on the podium the day Sadat was killed and assume the mantel. He has become the intimate of many heads of State, a good friend, someone they found reliable and provided stability for the region. Protecting investment and trade and a buffer for Israel. You do not abandon such an old friend and this is why so many governments in the West have been very reluctant to ask for his departure. The exception, the British PM, but then again is it wise for England to be so bold, they have a long controversial story with  Egypt, often seen in Egypt as would be colonial masters or aggressive power as during the Suez Canal Crisis in 1956.

What I find interesting about the crisis in Egypt is the response of Western Governments, on the one hand all important trade could be disrupted like the shipping routes through the Suez Canal, not a good thing, but how do you say this publicly without doing a double speak on democracy and human rights when you are one of those governments always hectoring the dictators.  Yes you might say democracy and the aspiration of ordinary people is important but not to the point of upsetting trade and investors. It is as if the aspirations of the Egyptian people are less important than those of Europeans or North Americans, Equality and Democracy yes, but some people are more equal than others. Its the old North-South Dialogue, the have and have not, developed and developing.

Mubarak says I cannot go, there will be chaos, really, there is chaos now. The ruling party has been shaken and all the other countries of the region have taken notice. Their despots are worried, notice how Colonel Khadafy next door in Libya is quiet. What the region does not have and cannot provide to its people is a dignified life, jobs, public services, like clean water, decent housing, health care, good schools, safe food and opportunities. When your population is 80% under 30 years of age, it is difficult for any old dictator to satisfy the young, having so little to offer.

In the West, we are scared of Islam and Islamist, thinking if dictators are swept away, for sure Islam will take over. That is a very simplistic analysis and insults the intelligence of the populations of countries like Tunisia and Egypt and all other Arab countries and our own intelligence. You have to be a simpleton to believe such idiocy, unfortunately it is still an argument found and reported in the media.

Then the other concern is if Mubarak who was present when Egypt made peace with Israel and inherited the legacy of Anwar Sadat, if he should go what then. Maybe the next fellow will not follow the same policies. So far all the actors involved on the scene and who are around Mubarak have not shown any signs of departing from the established peace treaty, why should they. Let's not forget that Egypt lives from tourism and also receives billions in foreign support to maintain the peace with Israel. It is very unlikely that any new government in Egypt would renege and change course, it would be too costly.

The Government in Israel has reasons to worry, unwise policies and aggressive attitudes of the past 60 years may come back to haunt them. But then again the poverty of all its neighbors and the enormous need for improvement at all levels would occupy any new government trying to satisfy the needs of a young population. The priority would not be Israel or a new war but instead how to satisfy the enormous  expectations of any regime change in the Arab world. Israel and the conflict would be quickly forgotten and put on the back burner.  Look at Tunisia, since the change of regime in that country a few weeks ago, the population has been enjoying the new freedom to simply do and say what you want without fear. They are looking at economic improvements and a new horizon.

Let us not forget that any people ruled by a dictator is just as deserving of the liberties we enjoy. Let's not deny them those same rights and opportunities because they happen to live in what we believe to be less advanced countries or because we want to protect our lifestyle, trade and investments before human dignity.