I believe that I wrote some time ago of a visit with my Mom who is now in a care facility. Mom is slowly dying of Alzheimer, it has been 11 years now. She is still looking healthy, good skin tone and lively eyes, she loves to listen to opera music, eats well, smiles and laughs a lot. What we can no longer do is have a conversation and she no longer remembers who I am, though she will at times give you a look indicating a brief moment of lucidity, she seems to recognize me but does not remember my name anymore. My sister had warned me that things had changed since the last visit. Looking back I now see how things were five years ago, when she still went out with my Dad to the restaurant and enjoying outings and then two years ago when she entered this facility and today.
It’s very painful to see this slow but sure decline.
On the other hand my father has increasing pulmonary health problems and with the cold humid windy winters in Montreal, I am also worried about him. His lungs are very fragile and he has to be constantly careful.
Talked with my sister and brother-in-law who are both in the health field and have a lot of experience with elderly people, death and dying.
This morning just before going to the airport, I went to see the doctor who has been following my mother for years now and spoke with him about what to expect.
We had a good conversation on what to expect in the next three years. Mom is now at stage 7, the final stage and it is a matter of time before the disease completes its progress. The doctor explained what to expect, it is not pretty and I was distressed to hear it. I find it necessary to know, so that I can prepare myself for what will happen. Talked with my sister and her husband, my father has a lot of problems with acceptance and what is coming. Luckily my Mom had the foresight to tells us all many times some years ago before she became ill and to include in her living Will that she does not want any extreme measures and machines to keep her alive or to prolong life. She has always said that when it is time to go, it’s better to leave with dignity than to hang on.
It does not help that today the weather is gray, dreary and rainy.
I empathize; ALZ Runs in my family, so I know what you are going through.
ReplyDeleteUr-spo thank you.
ReplyDeleteThat visit must have been a very hard for you Laurent. I'm sorry to hear it.
ReplyDeleteCP
Oh dear, Laurent, sorry to hear that. I too have arrived at an age when so many parents of friends are suffering this undignified decline. I hope and pray that my own ma, nearly 80, for all her ailments keeps her mind intact. Sadly, the longer we live...
ReplyDeleteIf it's any help, I was recommended a book which I purchased for a close friend of mine whose mother has both alzheimer's and dementia, Contented Dementia (I forget the author). From the brief glimpse I took, its 'counter-intuitive' approach seemed very wise.